Will I Ever Learn?

I think there has to come a time when I realize what I need to. When I sit and rationalize it, it makes sense, I understand the choices that have been made, but then I look out there with my heart, and with the heart, sense doesn't always make sense.

So I repeat the same mistakes that I've always made. I lead with my heart instead of my head, and once my heart gets hurt, I don't always listen to my head and what's it saying. I never take the advice that helps me mend and heal, instead I rush my heart off on another adventure, never heeding advice from the past bruises and breaks, forever forward, onward and upward...up, up, and away.

"The truth is I gave my heart away a long time ago, my whole heart, and I never really got it back."

Weird that I'd ever quote Sweet Home Alabama, but in terms of a romantic triangle, the movie was pretty dead on. It's weird to love other people so much that it feels you can't even love yourself. You look out upon the world and everything affects you, the old people, the young people, the young lovers, the tired, the poor, the huddles masses yearning to be free, all of those bring tears to your eyes. Yet when you look at yourself and your own life, you feel nothing but shame and contempt for the mess you've put yourself in again. Damnit.

I guess I have no other way to end this yet to quote Sweet Home Alabama again..."You can't ride two horses with one ass, sugarbean." Well said Earl Smooter, well said.