Tranquilery

For me it seems, the faster I move, the more things around me slow down. Like the reverse of a cliche music video where the artist is moving normally and everything around them speeds around so much it's a blip.

Here I am, moving around like the speed of light while everything else seems perfectly still, my thoughts, my emotions just waiting there for me to take a break and say hello. When I reach out for them, I'm able to slow down for just a split second before being wisked back away.

I'm torn, I like being busy, my brain feels satisfied, which is a good thing, as it's usually not and can get me into trouble when it isn't. Unfortunately my emotions are sitting there, stewing, not being stirred, not being privilidged to the new information that is coming to my moving self. At times I feel I'm slipping, not sure where to, just losing my footing below me. Which, emotionally, is scary. I've worked so hard on putting everything together to have everything fall apart in some of my busiest times. I really don't want to return to that place.