I wish I could explain the lonely I feel better, so anyone could understand. It's not that I just feel 'alone in the world' where I don't have someone who IS me and UNDERSTANDS me, I feel like a castaway on a island all alone.

There are times when I just need to have a conversation with someone just to keep me from teetering on the ledge. Not a specific conversation, no agenda, no particular person, just someone who hasn't been 1 of the same 4 people I've seen 8-5 the last 8 years.

I've worn out my tricks, the stuff I used to do to stay sane (computer games, daydreaming) I can't fool myself anymore.

I just need to stay occupied.